I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
