I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
