TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think your dad took our porno
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
