New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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