sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
