so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
