She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
