In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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