how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I love having hate sex.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
