these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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