No period for spring break; use this wisely.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
