i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
