My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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