No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
