Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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