i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
