I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
