I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
