the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
