non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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