my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
