what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Randomize
