Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
