she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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