i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I didn't notice because vodka
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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