I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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