Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
