There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize