It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
