My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
