you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
