You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
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