The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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