it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
