i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
