whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
organizing the empties. That sober.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
