His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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