She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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