ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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