do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
third nipple confirmed
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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