Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
