At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
