I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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