I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
