It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
