Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize