I'm lost and stupid without you.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Randomize
