Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
