I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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