Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
