Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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