My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
