At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
