I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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