I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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