Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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