Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize